![]() ![]() Whatever the situation, focusing on feelings and needs will help prevent it from escalating into an argument. For instance, maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed with classes and you need to focus on your schoolwork or maybe you’re feeling excited and curious about being newly single and you need some time to explore and figure out what you really want without making any commitments. RELATED: How To Bounce Back From A Breakup Express The Situation In Terms Of Your Feelings And Needsįorget personal insults, apologies, or blame instead be honest and direct with how you feel, what you need, and how that isn’t aligned with being in a relationship. Sure, over time your feelings may change-and so might this other person’s-but starting out the discussion from an honest place grounded by how you feel in the present is a must. Whether you’re looking for something casual and want to keep it that way, or whether you’re not interested in anything at all, clarifying this from the beginning helps avoid confusion and awkward conversations later on. The best way to approach this topic is early on. When you really care about someone, it’s also equally hard to be on the receiving end of “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.” Keeping the following tips in mind will help you deliver the news in a way that’s as healthy and painless as possible, for everyone involved. ![]() Most of us will do somersaults to avoid the uncomfortable interaction of telling someone the opposite of what they want to hear, particularly when it involves romantic feelings. But make no mistake, when I get up to that altar, I’ll make it crystal clear to every witness in attendance that I did not come here to make friends.Written by Writer’s Corps member Emily Desanctisĭisappointing someone is tough. If it all works out, maybe one of them will want to marry me and I’ll want to marry them back. ![]() I’m getting better at choosing partners with those kinds of qualities, which is all we can hope for, really-that the people who we reserve a place for in our hearts will deserve it. I want that kind of partnership too-the kind that’s fun and funny, supportive, egalitarian, stingy with judgment and generous with patience, one that allows us to both confidently grow together while simultaneously holding space for each other in times of insecurity. Look, I’m on your side: the side of love. But this whole “I’m marrying my best friend” thing has become so ubiquitous, such standard fare for the Marriage Industrial Complex Mad Libs, that there’s just no way it’s all true. Honestly, yes, that would be swell, thank you. Some of you may be thinking: Well Sable, when you meet The One, then you’ll see how they are your best friend too, you embittered hag. ![]() I wonder, what it is about wife, husband, partner, or spouse that suddenly doesn’t cut the mustard anymore? I understand that “best friend” denotes a shared joy in each other’s company and personhood, as well as a certain dynamic equity that the gendered titles historically lack, but those titles at least hold a specific distinguished hierarchy of importance in your life. But best friend? No, that seat was always taken. In the simplest terms, those exes were, for a time, my favorite person. And I’ve absolutely felt so enamored with partners of relationships past that when I’d try to describe the depths of my love, words failed me, or else felt like bad poetry. But don't get me wrong, I love when people find fulfillment and true authentic partnership in others-it fills my heart with pure, unbridled hope, giving worth to all other romantic pratfalls as if they were part of some divine plan all along. The crux of the matter is this: No one person can give you everything you’re ever going to need or want, nor can you do that for someone else-not that we’re likely to stop trying. ![]()
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